If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
