I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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