Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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