i will never coherently bang her
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
