i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
