Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
