It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
