what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
