Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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