Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
