know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
