'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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