I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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