i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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