Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
