why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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