I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
