Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
