i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
