4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
