So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
