I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I had to cum in my sink.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
