I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
