do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
