my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
