We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
