he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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