you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
