I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
