did you get engaged???
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
