Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
