We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
