The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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