He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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