remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
