Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
