You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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