this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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