I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
