I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
