you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
