well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
