Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
