sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
