I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
