Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
