Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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