I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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