your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
