Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
